Wednesday, November 7, 2012

The Pack Rat vs. The Minimalist: A Relationship Post

My boyfriend and I are starting to go into unchartered territory in our relationship. Moving in Together. The idea of “Moving in Together” has been floating around for a year now and it finally is seeing a peek of daylight. I have my own condo so Craig will be moving in with me from his mother’s place. My place is small with one big room, a kitchen, a bathroom and 3 walk-in closets.  He has stayed over a weekend here and there but there hasn’t been any real duration of consistent time…until now.

Craig recently stayed over for a week during Sandy and honestly we seemed to be compatible living together for the most part. BUT there are a few issues that are going to come up and frankly I don’t know how to deal with them. The biggest one is that I am a Pack Rat. I’m not a hoarder but I keep my yearbooks and books and have a lot of trinkets etc. Craig is a minimalist. He wants bare minimum to be seen and due to the size of my apartment thinks that more of my belongings need to put away &/or thrown out because they are unnecessary. “There are too many Statement Pieces” are his exact words.

At the end of the argument he summarized that he wants his stuff and my stuff to live in harmony and not have my place overgrown with accumulated clutter from both of us living in the same space. I wish he had started out with saying that. It’s nice and polite. He decided instead to go to my bookcase and start pulling things from my shelf without hearing the reasoning behind keeping the objects. Let’s just say it got ugly. I can be a defensive person and he went about everything the wrong way. Don’t pick up something and go, “What is this? Oh a book? Oh it can go in the closet because it’s just a book. Or throw it out, you don’t need it.”  It’s just rude. I will repeat I am not a hoarder just a pack rat. I’m shocked he didn’t point to my diploma and go do you really need that up on the wall? Do you? 

I know I have to make my condo more compatible for two people and get rid of some stuff I have until we buy a bigger place. I am completely content with that fact, but don’t degrade my treasures I have collected or pieces of my life.  I took it very personally. It’s not something to break up over, but this is a hurdle that we will have to overcome. Craig needs to realize that we are not going to live in a hotel room. I need to realize that it’s okay to let it go and throw away things. The memories are in my heart, but still I’m mad at his method of telling me this and I feel like I have every right to be. 

If Craig and I were played by actors this is exactly what we'd look like! Weird!

Oh relationships truly are a battlefield some days.  The next hurdle we have to overcome only having  one television with a girl addicted to her Tv Shows and a boy addicted to Call of Duty…Moving in together is not going to be a picnic at all…

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