A scene from Julie & Julia, 2009
Well it's Monday again...and frankly I'm so happy to be at my lil cubicle right now. The past 72 hours have been breaking back hard! My boyfriend and I FINALLY MOVED IN TOGETHER!! But, I forgot how hard it is to help someone move and oh yeah actually clean up my own house. I'm embarrassed to say I think this was the first time I've cleaned all my radiators in 2 years. I got on my hands and knees and scrubbed the bathroom & kitchen floors and I swear my next place I live in will be on the first floor. 13 stairs can feel like a thousand after you go up and down them a hundred times. Since it's only been a wee few hours since we've been officially living together I don't have any updates except for the fact that being honest is the only way this is going to work. The realization hit me when I had to tell Craig I had a headache because he was playing the guitar at 11:56pm last night. Honesty will have to be our other roommate, no questions asked.
The topic of Honesty got me thinking about the other important event I had to go to this weekend...I met up with the other bridesmaids for my best friend's wedding to help plan the little details. It went well, but there is something that's bugging me about my friend's wedding. I know there is really is NOT a set time frame where someone has to be married by or proposed by in a relationship. It just happens or it doesn't. My friend is getting married and they've only been together a month less than Craig and I. Yeah, how weird is that?!?! I'm moving in with my boyfriend and she is marrying her boyfriend in the same span of time. BUT, the future bride isn't exactly being completely honest with her fiancee and it's bugging the hell out of me.
My friend Helen at one point in her life was 400 pounds. She made a choice to have a gastric bypass because she had severe sleep apnea and beginning to show signs of early illnesses. She had the surgery and has been a complete success. She has lost so much weight and is actually about 20 pounds thinner than me and I'm about 170. She met her fiancee while she was thin and has decided NOT to tell her boyfriend how she lost the weight. She has not & will probably never tell him about the surgery. Her boyfriend is a large man and earlier last year had health issues that are stemming from him being so overweight. An option I feel he should be batting around is the gastric bypass surgery because he is a young guy and when future severe health issues are possible futures ALL options need to be discussed. Now Helen went through all of this process...She made the decision 5 years ago and has kept up with it. It was a hard time in her life that has shaped her who she is today. She had great days and bad days and has been through it all...Well...
Wouldn't you think that if you had a real opportunity to help out your future husband by sharing your past, which could ultimately help save his life or make him healthier, that you would want to share it with him? Wouldn't you want to be there for him as someone with experience in his struggle if surgery was an option for him? Wouldn't you want to honest with your future husband about "Who" you really are?
It's not my life or my decisions, but I wish she was honest with her fiancee. I understand that it is hard to come to terms with such a drastic event and acknowledge deep personal struggles, but if it could really help her fiancee why not let him in? I know it's her decision and her choice to tell him or not, but I don't see why she is not sharing it with him. I just can't understand.
Am I Wrong to feel this way? I'm not sure... But I don't see the benefit in holding a secret that could really make a difference in someone's life that you love. Honestly, I can't wrap my head around it...
Have You Ever Kept a Secret from a Significant Other? Why?
I'd love to hear...
Big Fish, 2003