Girls Season 2..Adam & Hannah
For starters, we all have bad days. Days where you didn't realize your friend's wedding is going to cost you literally a $1,000 by the end that you don't have...days where your really considering the possibility that your band has fallen apart...days where you want to curl up under the covers and not come out for a while. One of the biggest tests of strength of a relationship I feel is how you comfort your significant other. Craig & I have had a fair share of good/bad that has happened in our relationship over the past 3 years & truthfully I really think "comforting" the other person is something we have to work on.
Now that we live together, this comfort battlefield is a whole new process. When bad things happen, Craig internalizes things, claims he's "Out of it", and then dives into a video game. Maybe I'll find out what's bothering him within the next day or two depending on what it is. Usually after a week I'll definitely know. For me...I can't hide things as well. If I even sigh because I burnt toast he asks, "What's the matter" thinking there's a problem. I'll spurt it all out to him why I'm upset & then he'll usually make a retort like, "Are you just venting or can I help?" Naturally that aggravates the hell out of me because I think he believes I'm venting so he then doesn't have to really listen. Well...this makes us at two different ends of the spectrum for these bad days.
I want to hug Craig & have him open up to me about his bad day...but he gets grumpier every time I try. I've learned to let him come to me with it but it's a frustrating process to be in this waiting game. When I have a bad day, Craig tries to "understand" and make things about human nature & tries to give me a concrete solution even though he doesn't realize you can't just eliminate people from your life with a snap of your fingers. It becomes this game of cat & mouse where I can't explain every little thing in detail to the exact words used so i wind up getting more upset or aggravated because he can't understand where I'm coming from because he doesn't know all the "specifics" etc. I don't think he realizes that all I want is a shoulder to cry on or a big hug that doesn't end in 10 seconds.
I feel like I'm a strong woman who can bounce back fairly quickly from bad days but it can't be in 10 minutes or less. As I'm writing this I truly think it's a fact that Men are from Mars & Women are from Venus. There are things we won't agree on & there are things you have to accept as differences.
In a Good sense though...I've noticed Craig has been opening up more to me quicker about what's really going on with him & it's refreshing not to play the guessing game in my head. I have been trying to talk to more of my girl friends about my personal issues that I know Craig will just not understand to eliminate the thousand question game. If he asks what's wrong...I tell him oh it's a girl thing and he kinda shuts up. I also think I need to be more forward with him by not going on a word vomit rant and just saying "Hey, what I really need is a hug".
Rome wasn't built in a day & relationships do not come with manuals. It's an interesting process figuring out all the nooks & crannies...I wonder what the world is going throw at us next!
How do you & your Significant Other handle Each Other's Bad Days?
I'd love to hear...
Friends TV SHOW - Monica, Phoebe & Rachel
~ I've always wanted to do this!!! ~