Monday, May 6, 2013

Living Together + Big Decisions...

Whitney TV show, 2013

When opportunity knocks you have to take it...Right? Well it's not that easy when your currently living with your boyfriend and the big decision affects not one but both of you. 

My condo that my boyfriend and I currently live in is a studio. One big room that has it's good days and it's bad days. There is a separate kitchen room, but not enough closet space right now for both of us. It's a tight fit, but we are making it work. It's hard to fight because there is no where to escape to and we both have to put the TV on when the other is in the bathroom so we don't hear "noises". The experience has truthfully brought us closer together in ways I didn't think possible too. But how long can we stay in this small studio apartment? How long can we make "due" with what we have? 

This past week an opportunity has come up that could change everything. A townhouse that does have green carpeting that would have to go could be up on the market with an advantage that Craig and I knew the previous owners. In a dream world they would say, "Okay we'll sell you this one bedroom two floor townhouse, with a deck, a dishwasher, a washer & dryer, AND 1 1/2 bathrooms for a $100,000." In reality we have no idea what the price would be just yet...but I don't know how to even start the thinking about something like this...This is Big...Real Life Changing Big....

I personally own my lil studio and it was hell getting a mortgage and all the real estate crap that requires you to get a lawyer. I know the nitty gritty dance that needs to happen in order to get a new home. But besides that there is a lot to figure in...questions like "marriage", "savings accounts", & "Future kids". I say future kids because there is only one bedroom... Oh yeah and commute! My commute would have an additional 20 minutes tacked onto it's already half hour drive. Craig's would be cut down by 10 minutes or so. seems those are some of the negatives to moving into a bigger place...

Like always I think I of the negatives first. I'm working on this lil habit of mine, but I have to look at the possible positives too. I wouldn't have to listen to a zombie fighting game constantly, our kitchen would not be in ear shot or smell shot, we wouldn't have to go outside to do our laundry, we'd have a dishwasher, we'd be able to entertain more people, have a dining room, and I guess the biggest positive of all would be to not be stepping all over each other. But we have to find out first and foremost how much the unit would I have a lil time to calm my nerves. 

I can't remember the last time I had to make such a large decision that impacted so much. I'm definitely going to need a lil help here...

How Do You & Your Significant Other Make Big Decisions? 
I'd love to hear...

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  1. We're currently on the first steps of buying a house, well I say trying. We're currently waiting to get pre-approved for a mortgage to know just what we can afford but it's taking forever. We're currently in a one bed apt, so for most couples it's probably an ok size, but I work at home and all my stock is quickly taking over the place. And then we see things, especially furniture at estate sales and then wish we had the space to rehome it.

    So home buying is one of our big decisions, I guess looking back our first huge decision was working out which one of us would be emigrating to be together. Looking back it now surprises me how quickly we made that decision!

  2. for one thing, i'm a planner to the core so when we decided to buy our first house together, we were surrounded in spreadsheets and budgets etc because i had to know every detail of income vs expense. i refused to live in the dark eating spam if we couldn't afford to live on our own!

    there was a time when my hubs (then bf) didn't want to tell me his level of debt but opted to give me a "ball park". i guess he was embarrassed but that nearly made me tear up the sale of purchase of the house (we had 10 days to review and opt out if we changed our minds). that was pretty tough but after a full disclosure, i was ok.

    we talk about the pros and cons about big decisions..when we decided to buy another house, when we decided to do our basement, vacations etc.. we just make a list and see what the negatives vs positives would be and then decide based on that. open communication is KEY to making a big decision so that everyone is happy. if you don't like something or concerned about it, SAY IT with no sugar coating! if you do that, then you will be unhappy in the end and won't know how to get out of it.

  3. We're also in the process of buying our first place! Now that I think of it, I think big decisions I usually follow his lead while other smaller decisions he follows me. It just turns out that what I want to take lead in, he doesn't.. and what he wants to take lead in, I don't! :)

  4. That's a super tough one. I bought my first house with my boyfriend and when we broke up three years later, it was hard with all the financial burden that comes with owning a house together. Now, I definitely don't think you and Craig will break up, but I'm just warning you of that tidbit I didn't think about when I signed my life away with a boyfriend.

    On the plus side, it was easier getting a mortgage with two names on it!!!

    Good luck with all this - there is definitely no right or wrong answer here!

  5. Iz and I usually just talk it out. I'm more of a negative person and he's more positive, so I think we're both able to keep the other somewhere in the middle.

    Maybe makes a pros and cons list?

  6. We really weight out the pros and cons and see what is best for both of us, but we haven't made a bid decision together like purchasing a place. Good luck with everything!
    - Aimee

  7. i recently moved in with my BF of six years and we are looking to move into a larger place {just renting for now} so we are still learning how to make big decisions together :)

  8. ha. we don't think about it too much. We kinda wing things, if they feel right they feel right, we like to take chances. We got married fast, we got our kids fast....and we wouldn't do it any other way. But not everybody should do it like we do, it's just our personality. But in the end it saves us a lot of grey hair since we don't try to second guess everything :)

  9. So far we haven't really had to make any big decisions together (we each have property but choose to live in his house because it's bigger. It was a given.)

    Wishing you luck with this process! It will all work out. :)


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