Thursday, January 2, 2014

Miss Chloe, How Are You Today?

"It's too cold outside for angels to fly..."
- Ed Sheeran "The A Team"

Once upon a past job, I used to have a boss ask me time and time again "Miss Chloe, How are you today?" with an opera-ish boom to his voice. I'd mumble "Good and you?" like a textbook answer on English conversation. I was in an office of 5 men and me. There was NO Way I'd tell him the real answer. At my current job I still can't be honest when asked this casual I'll leave my honesty for here. 

I'm not a stranger to anxiety but at some point last year I became an anxious ball of nerves. Every aspect of my life was gnawing at me and pulling all directions. My relationship, my job, my expenses, my no-longer cupcake class, my family, my disappearing friendships, and a few other tidbits here and there. I felt like I became a zombie, trapped in my head, and terminally stuck in auto-pilot mode. Even my dreams at night were sucking the life out of me. 

Six months later, I've learned the power of asking for help from people in my life and being open to accepting the much needed help, but I still feel the pulls of stress every now and again and honestly again. 

Today was one of those days...AND there was no banging on the coffee maker for a morning cup of coffee...(Remember this post?) Yes, I woke up from a startling nightmare to discover my Keurig coffee maker of 3 years surrendered to the banging pressure. It wouldn't even turn on. But then I had an amazing relationship moment, one I know was prompted by Craig's resolution to be a better boyfriend and help me out around the condo more, when he said, "Oh well let's split the bill and just buy a new one together after work today." I let out a breath of fresh air and the anxiety wave passed. Whew...It was going to be okay and I will have help. =)

Let's just say for the record that a 30 minute commute is super long without a cup of coffee. Especially the first day back of the new year. I recently received a promotion at my lil marketing analyst position I've now have held for almost 3 years. It has taken me out of my "Avoid my co-workers" bubble and it's been difficult. Today, I was cringing every time an email popped up, but alas the email I'm dreading did not come yet. Promotions come with extra work but damn during the holidays it made my job crazy town. I...hmmm...finding a happy medium with work is still an on-going battle...definitely something I'm going to constructively work on in 2014!

I think everyone was too busy worrying about Winter Storm Hercules to do real work today. It's very nerve-wracking to pass by windows and not look out to see if it's starting to snow or not. Surprisingly so far there isn't a lot of snow so far, but it's coming. My boss gave me the okay to work from home and I think I will definitely be using that get out of jail free card! 

Tomorrow will be a brand new day to start fresh AND there will be fresh coffee too! =) 

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1 comment:

  1. 30 minute commute with no coffee? That sounds like a form of torture. On the flip side- working from home on a cold day sounds like bliss (I'll be doing the same only it's nowhere near as cold here). Congrats on the promotion!!! And I'm happy that you're learning how to deal with your anxiety (you are so not alone there).


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